Whose Avenger Is It Anyway?
by Dairi
Summary: Just as it sounds - an Avengers meets Whose Line is it Anyway? fic! The main four will be: Steve, Tony, Clint and Natasha; however, all will be making an appearance or two. Fury is the host. No pairings, this is just for fun. I own nothing.
1. Superheroes

This ficlet is written purely for the comedic value; if you take it seriously your brain just may explode. A big 'Thank you!' to Arrows the Wolf for beta'ing this first chappie! Also, I feel the need to add...things may start a little slow, but I promise you, it will get better as it goes on. Once the actual games start. Or, I hope so anyway, lol. Okay, so let's get started...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avengers or Whose Line is it Anyway? Nor do I own pop-tarts, though I do find them delicious.

* * *

It was all a ruse. Fury had tricked them - or at least Tony, who would've never shown up had this been called what Fury seemed to be labeling it; 'a team-building' exercise. At least, that was what Fury had told Steve anyhow. Tony had been under the impression that there would be cameras and doughnuts. Cameras there were, doughnuts there were not. It took several minutes for Thor to realize there were no pop-tarts either, but when he started shouting and twirling his hammer in the air, Jane was forced to make a quick run to the nearest grocer. Bruce had simply been told it was a team meeting, and so here he was. Clint and Natasha had known something was up, but out of more curiosity (and for their own amusement, to be sure) they'd gone along with it.

So here they all stood, on the center of a stage, with high walls on three sides of said stage. By now Tony had pretty much figured it out (I mean, hey, they were in a huge studio-place, how stupid did Fury think he was?), Bruce too was pretty certain he knew what was up and was presently eying the walls with the highest of suspicious regard. Steve, on the other hand, was completely clueless. Thor was still fuming about his loss of pop-tarts and didn't much care about the high walls that were making strange, though slight, noises. Clint was standing to one side of the group while Natasha took up a position on the other end, effectively if not unconsciously hemming their teammates in. Which would be handy in the event any of them tried to flee. Fury was standing in front of a desk on the left side of the stage, his arms crossed, and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Why have you brought us here by means of this foolish trickery?" Thor was the first to question, in his usual booming way. Steve, directly to Thor's right, jerked a little and nervously eyed the huge, white walls...he could've sworn he just heard them squeal... Walls still weren't supposed to squeal even in this new age, right?

"Well, apparently the public isn't quite so sure on how well the six of you work as a team," Fury began, inclining his head a little, and still looking very, very irritated. He glared each Avenger down, his gaze particularly lingering on Tony in a rather pointed way; to which Tony only stood up straighter and kept an even gaze on Fury's eye. The Director scoffed and, as he continued speaking, turned and stepped around to the other side of the desk. "Which is why I got stuck with baby-sitting duties. The public wants to see you all working together as a team, participating in different games with me as your gracious host. You four," he raised an arm and pointed angrily at Steve, Tony, Clint and Natasha in turn. "Are up first." He now turned to Thor and Bruce. "You two, get lost for now - when you're up, I'll call ya."

Oh no. It was Bruce's worst nightmare, though thankfully he wouldn't have to face it yet. With a gulp, he glanced one last time at the huge walls that were slowly being wheeled aside to reveal...oh no, no no. Bruce quickly turned and fled the room. Jane appeared by the door Bruce had just disappeared through and jingled the plastic bag she was holding, which clearly held several boxes of Thor's beloved pop-tarts.

"MY TARTS OF POP! YOU HAVE NOT FORSAKEN ME!" The bellow was heard following the blur as Thor raced off-stage to claim his prize. Which left the four Fury had indicated to watch as the walls were wheeled away. Fury calmly took his seat at the desk as what was behind those walls were now revealed. Tony stood where he was, smiling brightly for the newly-revealed crowd and even gave a wave to the studio audience. Hey, this was what he lived for. Steve looked like he was going to be sick, and both the assassins, on either side of him, had to discreetly lay a hand on his arms to prevent Steve from bolting. For their part, Natasha and Clint each looked unpreterbed by this turn of events. At Fury's instructions to sit, Nat and Clint helped Steve over to the four chairs that sat toward the back of the stage, requiring a small step up to reach. It took a few more minutes before Tony had finished preening himself in front of the crowd before he too went and took a seat.

Next, Fury grabbed a mic and stood up to face the audience, to which they started to roar with shouts and applause. Fury promptly, and not so nicely, told them to 'shut it.' After his making several viable threats, they finally quieted. "Now, most of you already know how this works, but for his sake I'm going to explain anyway. Briefly." He stated, hooking his thumb in Steve's direction. Rogers had the sense to look a little affronted, and though he still had no real clue as to what was going on and the ioh-god-everyone-is-staring-at-me/isensation was ever-present, he still managed to pull it together enough to listen intently as Fury explained. Tony, meanwhile, was checking his watch and Natasha, who was on the other side of Steve, was looking at her fingernails. Clint, next to Natasha, was staring at the catwalks above them and wondering how long it'd take him to climb up there.

"This is based highly off a show were everything is made up and the points don't matter - that's right, the points are like your cares and concerns to me right now! I DON'T CARE! You all are going to sit there and laugh, you got it?!" Fury hollered, shaking a fist at the crowd. There were a few nervous chuckles that escaped, but it was otherwise silent as the Director collected himself once more and headed back to the desk. "Okay, so now then - the first game. It's called Superheroes."

"Hey, I got this one!" Tony exclaimed, raising his hand, which Fury immediately and figuratively bit off.

"Shut it, Stark. As I was saying, it's called Superheroes. Miss Romanoff, if you would kindly take the stage." Tony pouted as he watched Natasha stand and step forward to center-stage, then she turned one half-step to face Fury. After reading the cards on his desk, Fury sighed and turned to the audience. "I'm supposed to ask you knuckleheads out there for a made-up super identity for Miss Romanoff. So talk." Immediately, several people of the audience started shouting out things. Fury put a hand to his ear and leaned towards them, acting as if he couldn't hear, then paused and put a hand up. "Dog Catcher Lady! I like it." Natasha blinked, crossing her arms over her chest with a frown, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she watched Fury write something down. "Now, a made-up crisis for Dog Catcher Lady and her super friends to solve." Again, the crowd started shouting out ideas. "City over run by cats! That seems crazy enough, just might work. So, Miss Romanoff - Dog Catcher Lady - will start and she will introduce the next super when he comes in, that'll be Clint an' you'll go by ones, who will then introduce the next and so on. Miss Dog Catcher Lady, the city is over run by cats. Go."

Natasha quickly turned to face the crowd, one hand making a motion of grabbing a bag and holding it close to her face while the index finger of her other hand toyed with the 'trigger' of an invisible gun. She had a deep scowl on her face as she narrowed her eyes and ground out, in a mafia-like tone, "You've woofed your last, little doggy." In the next moment, she quickly 'holstered' her 'gun' and tossed the 'net/bag' thing to the side then made the motions of closing a small kennel door. "In freedom anyway," she muttered as she brushed her hands on her pant legs then looked up to the crowd and squinted, pretending to see something there. "What's this on - on the world crisis monitor? A city over run by cats! ... This is out of my jurisdiction. Sure hope the rest of my super team gets here soon..."

(Earlier, as Nat and Fury had been interacting with the crowd, Clint, Tony and Steve had stood and lined up by the 'door' in that order. Now, given his cue, Clint leaped onto to stage.)

"Sorry I'm late! Dang elevator's on the fritz again."

"Thank goodness you're here... ...Cat Catcher Man." Natasha speaks, never cracking a smile, and the two stare at each other for a moment. Then Clint grins rather crazy-like and produces a 'pole' from no where, "I heard there's some good game out there on the loose! Is it true?! Please tell me it is!" He shouted, a little too excited.

"Yes, it is. Look, the whole city has been over run with...cats." Nat said, seeming highly unmoved, as she nodded towards the 'monitor.'

"Yes! Ooo-wee, gonna have me some fun to-night!" Clint proclaimed with a maniacal grin, bowing out his legs and leaning forward a little, giving the appearance that he were searching that very room for the cats. Just then Tony entered.

"I would say, 'Sorry I'm late,' but honestly that'd be a lie."

"Oh, hey...Australian Lingo Man! Though I've uh, y'know, pretty well got things covered here." Clint greeted him, then glanced off to his left and proceeded to go after a 'cat.' Tony blinked, cocked his head, then grinned and fell right along with it.

"G'day t'all m' lovely mates! How've ya been?! Yer not startin' without me, are ya?" He asks, stepping forward and clapping both assassins on the shoulder. Natasha twitches and side-steps out of his grasp, Clint didn't seem to even notice.

"Will be better once this stupid game is-" Quickly changes as she catches Fury's glare, "I mean, once the city-to-cat ratio is fixed."

"Fixed?! You can't mean..." Tony begins to shout, but just then Steve reluctantly steps in. And by way of explaining his tardiness, Steve simply says,

"...I took the stairs."

"At last, Cap'n Tap Dance!" Tony bellows, without a second thought. Steve frowns and his cheeks darken a tad, and he sighs as his gaze travels heavenward, and he regrets the day Tony discovered him reading up on various dance types, in particular ones he'd missed over the years. Tony had just happened upon him during the tap dance sections. After another deep inhale, Steve stepped forward.

"I came to see if I may be of any assistance." He declared, punctuating each syllable with a particular step from a tap routine he'd memorized, ending his sentence with a flourish of hands.

"Look," Clint finally says, and points to the 'monitor.' "I can just take care of all these cats, I don't need y'alls help, neither!" he snorts, returns both hands to the 'pole' he was holding and nods.

"Ah, well to speed things up, why not have some of Dog Catcher's dogs help round 'em up?" Steve questions, ending this tap routine by gesturing with both hands, palms up and flat, towards Natasha. Then he jerked his head up and said, "Oh, think I hear someone callin' for me. ... Exit, stage left." Steve proclaims amidst another routine, taps towards the 'door' then rushes off stage, afterward breathing a huge sigh a relief.

"Hey man," Tony pauses, and tilts his head, then continues, "Dude, I...think I forgot t'feed my dingo. ... G'day!" Tony then ducks off stage himself, apparently out of words. Which has to be a first.

"Speaking of dingos," Nat cut in, looking at Clint. "Yes, I have one or two in mind I could release to help you round up the cats. There are too many for you to handle on your own."

"That'll work! I guess. ... Then, let's get to it - to the Cat mobile!" Clint shouts, and dashes off stage.

"Well, another crisis averted thanks to my teammates and I." She smiles, "Lovely day." And then walks after the other, to which the buzzer announcing the end of the game sounds.

"Excellent work, team! A thousand points each," Fury says as they all walk back up to the four seats and resume sitting. Steve, hearing Fury's comment, looks puzzled.

"I thought you said the points don't matter?" Rogers questioned, drawing his brows together in confusion. Fury waved a hand dismissively in response.

"They don't." Before Steve could open his mouth to ask the obvious question of why Fury was apparently bothering to keep score, Fury went on. "Now, next game is..."

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed reading! I'm very sorry if Tony's part appeared a little weak, for some reason he just wasn't working with me on this one. I really did try to bargain with him more in the coming chapters, though, so yeah hopefully will improve. owo Anyway. Please, if any of y'all find mistakes in here or things needing change, feel free to point it out and I will act accordingly. Let me know what'cha think! ^^


	2. Let's Make A Date

****Aw, thank you guys so much for all the reviews/favs/follows! That really means a lot. ^^  
This chappie also beta'd by Arrows - Thanks again!

And now, on to the second game...

**Disclaimer:** Still own nothing.

* * *

"Now for the second game - and just think, we're one more game closer to bein' through with this mess- is called...Let's Make a Date. 'S for all four of you knuckleheads. Miss Romanoff, the cards inform me that you will be appearing on a sort of dating-like show - my apologies but you're only able to pick from Steve, Tony and Clint - who have been given a strange quirk or identity to act out and you must guess who they are at the end of the game." The four get up and take their respective seats on stools that have appeared on the stage; Nat on the one all the way far right, Clint next to her, Tony next and Steve on the far left stool. There had been envelopes on each of the three male Avengers' seats that they each picked up and opened to look at as they sat down. Steve crinkled his brow as he read what was on his card, then lifted one eyebrow rather archly and looked rather smug. Tony blinked and frowned as he read his, gave a little huff as he tucked it away and then sat at attention. Both Clint's brows rose as he read what was on his card, and he looked much too amused for Fury's taste.

"And Barton, if you mess up I will kill you. I have the answers here and I know who you all are." He motions with a card in his hand, his eye fixed on Barton. Then he leaned back and switched his attention to Romanoff. "Natasha, you're up."

"Contestant number one," Natasha spoke, pretending to be smacking gum as she flicked her hair behind her shoulder. "I think it's pretty important to have fun on a date - where would you take me and why?"

Clint, who has one eye closed with a scowl on his face - for his card, as if you couldn't already guess, had read DIRECTOR FURY - crossed his arms over his chest and raised his head. "I have this secret hideout - but that's a secret so I can't tell you how to get there, so uh. Downtown coffee shop. 'S close, and cheap."

"Great." Nat did not at all sound enthused however, and now turned her attention to Tony. "Contestant number two, same question."

"That's classified." Tony responded, after about a second of contemplative silence. See, his card had read, PHIL COULSON. Natasha blinked a time or two, Tony never moving at all just sitting there unnaturally still and staring straight ahead. Which was really weird for Tony, but somehow refreshing to see.

"Well then, let's move on. Contestant number three," Natasha turned her attention to Steve, who had turned on his stool so that his back was facing them. He was pretending to be messing with something in his hands, a cell phone presumably. And he was ignoring them.

"Contestant number three," Natasha repeated, a little more loudly as she leaned forward. Then she sharply cleared her throat and added, "If I could have your attention, please, we have a show going here and much as I don't want to I must ask you something so we can keep it moving,"

"Yes, dear?" Steve asked without missing a beat, turning and smiling innocently at Natasha, inclining his head a little to show he was now listening. He had one leg crossed over the other and his hands were now resting idly on his lap. Because, in case you hadn't already guessed, his card had read TONY STARK.

"Sorry, you were saying?" Steve added, blinking at Natasha.

"If you were privileged to take me on a date, where would we go?" Natasha asked, almost regretting the question as soon as she asked it, already having an idea of who Steve might be.

"First off, and let's get this straight, the privilege would be you getting to go out with me. And second, well let's see - I do own like half the town, so anywhere you wanted to! It doesn't even have t'be in the States - we could jump on my jet and...well." Steve smiled and then shrugged, tilting his head as he glanced towards Nat and added, "But I know this great Shwarma place just down the street from here...how about meetin' me there after the show, hm?" and then he grinned and winked. Tony, sitting next to him, actually snorted and glared at Steve before returning to his emotionless staring. He was no doubt thinking he owned more than just half the town, but for once kept his mouth shut.

"Okay, back to contestant number one - What's your favorite thing?"

"Keepin' secrets." Clint proclaimed, still keeping one eye closed. He stretched out his legs in front of him, crossing one ankle over the other, but said no more.

"All righty then," she smiled lightly and moved on to Tony. "And what about you, number two?"

"That's also classified." Tony said, but then glanced to his right, did a sort of a double take and then just smiled. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm sitting next to the -real- Captain America. It's just been such a pleasure, sir, to, to sit here, next to you." Tony's gleefulness was almost creepy, but Steve just glanced over, looking unimpressed.

"The pleasure's all yours, I assure you." Steve commented, facing forwards again. Tony continued looking at him in awe another moment before seeming to come back to himself, muttering under his breath though as it was loud enough for others to hear, it was clearly for the benefit of Nat as well as the audience, "Right, we're doing a show here." Then he went right back to the emotionless staring.

"All right, now that we got that sorted - number three? Same question."

"My favorite thing?" Steve questioned, seeming to perk up a bit. "Uh, obviously, myself." A small pause, then, "And why do I have to be number three?" He asked in a sort of whiny tone, looking down the row at Clint. "Why 'm I not number one, huh? I pull the most weight around here, sheesh." Then he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, looking displeased. Finally, the buzzer sounded. Steve breathed a sigh of relief and sagged back in his seat, though not too far 'else he'd have fallen off. Tony shook himself out a little, as if he'd been a dog that had gotten somewhat wet, while Clint finally allowed himself to re-open his left eye.

"Can you guess who they all were?" Fury put the question out to Natasha from from behind his desk.

"Way too easy." Natasha said, placing her hands in her lap as she looked the three over. "Clint was the director, you." She spoke, giving Fury a somewhat sympathetic smile as Clint beamed, nodding his head. "Tony was...Coulson, probably." Tony smiled cheekily and then just as quickly let it drop, and then turned to Steve.

"What I'm interested in is hearing who -you- were playing as, Capsicile." Tony said, his expression reserved but he was eyeing Steve suspiciously. Steve just gave him a half-smile.

"Steve was Tony." Natasha declared, absolutely no doubt in her voice. Tony glared at Steve and, while he must admit Steve had been given the best personality, he was muttering something to himself about 'owning more than half the town - get it right, I mean come on...'

"Right on all three accounts. Very good, Romanoff - you get a thousand points while the rest of y'all get five hundred each." Tony and Clint looked about to complain as they all, minus Nat since Clint had grabbed her stool as well as his own, helped in putting the stools back to whence they'd come from, but Fury waved them away. "Let's keep this thing rolling people, next game is..."


	3. Two Line Vocabulary

****Thanks so much everyone for reviewing/favoriting/following! You guys keep me going! Here is the third installment...hopefully there will be an update at least once a week now, barring any writer's block, so yay for that. This chappie edited by the lovely Arrows the Wolf. ^^

**Disclaimer:** I still own nothing.

* * *

"The next game we're forced to play is called Two Line vocabulary. This is for Tony, Steve and Clint - now, Tony can say whatever he darn well pleases, but Steve and Clint will be given two lines each as all they can say through this whole stupid scene. Steve your lines are: 'How does that work?' and, 'Avengers, assemble!' Clint, you've got: 'I really don't think that's a good idea.' and 'Quiet or I'll shoot!' The setting for the scene is this, Steve and Clint have just entered Tony's electronics store -you're welcome- when aliens attack. Go."

"Can I help you two gentlemen?" Tony asks as he steps up to the other two, his hands clasped behind his back. Steve was standing there, looking thoughtfully down at something with one hand curled around his chin. Clint had his arms crossed over his chest, idly glancing about the 'shop.'

"How does that work?" Steve asks, glancing at Tony and then pointing in front of himself to some invisible, supposed object.

"Oh, that thing?" Tony asks, turning towards where Steve pointed with a grin. "That, my friends, is the latest, state-of-the-art, indestructible, best-of-the-best... blender. It also makes phone calls."

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Clint spoke up, from his current position of peering over Steve's shoulder with one brow raised.

"It's actually rather simple, see-" Tony starts, but then he pauses, quickly turns around and gapes. "Aliens! Attacking my store!"

"Avengers, assemble!" Steve shouts, one fist pumped up in the air, and then he leaps forward.

"Quiet or I'll shoot!" Clint jumped in right after Steve, positioning his hands as if he were holding his bow and had an arrow notched, aiming to something off Steve's left.

"Wait, wait, wait - they're only attacking the video section of the store. Maybe all they're after is some better recording tech."

"How does that work?" Steve questioned, his arm up as if his shield were strapped to it, as he glanced back curiously towards Tony but otherwise didn't move.

"Uh, would take too long to explain to you." Tony said after a second, waving a dismissive hand in the air. "Nice that you're curious though. But maybe I can talk to those aliens, if they ask nicely I could give them some nice tech."

"I really don't think that's a good idea." Clint spoke up, glancing nervously between Tony and the 'aliens,' though he lowered his 'bow' a fraction of an inch or so.

"Avengers, assemble!" Steve then proclaimed, and pointedly nodded between Tony and the aliens, motioning with his 'shield,' as if encouraging Tony to go and try to talk - they'd have his back.

"Okay, well here I go." Tony started forward, then paused and looked back at Clint. "Well Feathers, are you coming? I need a look out!"

Clint stepped forward and aimed his 'bow,' arrow still notched, at Tony. "Quiet or I'll shoot!"

"Fine, fine," Tony said, raising his hands, palms up and out. "I'll be quiet as we're sneaking up to the attacking aliens, but I have to speak in order to know what they want."

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Clint said, shaking his head, his voice a little lower than normal.

"What, you want me to try and talk to them silently?" Tony asked, affronted, putting his hands on his hips. Steve, who was walking backwards towards the two to make sure there were no aliens on their tail, whispered over his shoulder with an incredulous tone,

"How does that work?"

"My point exactly!" Tony said, not exactly a shout but definitely not a whisper, opening one hand to wave in Steve's direction with a nod. "Now -and I can't believe I'm saying this- we need to quit stalling and get to those aliens. Let's go."

"Avengers, assemble!" Steve added, from his position still at the back, though he had temporarily turned to shout that out.

"Yes, you already said that." Tony said quite calmly as Clint turned and aimed his 'bow' at Steve. "And yes, you'll shoot him if he's not quiet - we know." Clint then proceeded to sag his shoulders and pout at Tony, 'cause his line was stolen. Tony smirked and rolled his eyes, Steve just shook his head and continued to cover their backsides. Then Tony held out his arm to stop them, then motioned for everyone to huddle up. "All right, now, the aliens are being quiet for the moment so there's no need to shoot them just yet - and Rogers, we're already assembled here so no need to give the call. Here's the plan-"

"I really don't think that's a good idea." Clint whispered, shaking his head sagely. Steve had to nod his agreement. Tony coming up with a plan of attack - probably not gonna end well.

"Oh hush. They're attacking my place so I get the say in this. Clint, we'll get you a ladder so you can climb it and have a sort of perch to shoot from," Tony spoke, looking at Clint, whom had narrowed eyes as he stared at Tony. "And Steve, you'll sit back here and try to get a hold of Thor, maybe he knows how to communicate with these guys. First, though, I'm gonna fly in an' see if they know any English."

Steve frowned deeply and said, while shaking his head, "How does that work?" emphasizing the word, 'that' as he spoke.

"I really," Clint stressed this word, "don't think that's a good idea."

"Ye with little faith." Tony sighed, seeming to be disappointed in his teammates, but then the buzzer sounded. Steve and Clint looked rather relieved, where Tony actually looked - what, a little disappointed? Really? "Well, that was fun." Tony said, clapping his hands together as the three returned to their seats. "What's next?"

"Are there really blenders that can also make phone calls?" Steve asked, looking curiously at Tony as they sat back down, his expression concerned.

"Not that I know of, yet. However, I could make one." Tony answers, the wheels already starting to turn in his mind.

"Please don't." Natasha puts in, to which Tony pouts.

"Spoil sport." And somewhere deep in the audience, Pepper Potts sighs with relief.

"A thousand points each," Fury said as he wrote something down. "Though I'm being generous, 'cause you were all kinda weak there." Nat nodded her agreement, receiving a glare from Clint which she pointedly ignored. Also ignored was Tony's whining that it was the best yet, 'cause he got to talk the most. And owned as well as was about to save an electronics store. 'Cause if it were owned by him, it had to be cool. Fury cut in with, "On to the next game..."

* * *

Hopefully y'all enjoyed this one, I had a lot of fun writing it. Please lemme know what'cha thought! Oh! Also, Thor and Loki will be in the next one, so stay tuned. ;)


	4. Sound Effects

Thank you so much to everyone that's reviewed! It means a looot. So, thank you.

And a big thank you to Arrows for continuing to beta for me!

(*COUGH* ... DERP. I must apologize to those that have this story on their alert list, because I accidentally put the wrong chapter title initially...My bad! However...now you kind of know what to game to expect next. Lol! ;) )

Now on with the show...

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

"Movin' on, next game is called Sound Effects," Fury stated as he stood up from the desk, mic in hand once again. "This 's for Tony and Clint, now I need two victims from the audience " The Director continued as he stepped down and walked over towards the front row. There was at least one terribly familiar face staring back at him with a gigantic, goofy smile on his face. Apparently, Thor had finished his pop-tart snack and had decided to take a seat in the front row. Idly Fury glanced to the seat next to Thor, remembering that he needed two for this skit, and promptly did a double take.

"You! What the - hey, who let him in here?!" Fury growled out, coming ever so close to leaping back and taking up a fighting stance directed towards the person seated next to Thor. Fury had to check himself as even now, his free hand was itching towards his service arm that he had hidden at the small of his back, but he held back at the last moment as Thor did not seem at all concerned by things.

"Worry not, Director of fury, for it is safe. It was my understanding that this be a game you midguardians play - I merely thought I might bring my brother along for a short while." Thor said with a grin, leaning back slightly and slamming his hand down hard on Loki's back, nearly causing the smaller being to fall right out of his seat. Made easier because Loki's hands were still bound, though he wore no muzzle. "Some fun for him to partake of before his return to exile." Loki growled at Thor, glaring daggers which the bigger one chose to ignore, his attention still focused on Fury. Noticing he was not being paid any attention, Loki huffed and grumbled under his breath something along the lines of, 'Yes, fun.' Then Thor turned serious and, his hand still on Loki's shoulder, added, "He has given his word that he will do no harm." Loki had settled a little in his seat, though from the corner of his eye he was still glaring daggers at his so-called adopted brethren.

Fury seemed to be considering things for a moment, but then, glancing back at Tony and Clint who were presently standing on the stage, a sly grin began to form on his face. He turned to the two Asguardians. "You two, you're up." Fury said, indicating Thor and Loki. "Get yer hides up on that stage! C'mon, move!" Thor seemed confused at first, Loki looked highly reluctant and somewhat frightened, supposing this some form of punishment, but was forcibly dragged along by his 'brother' as Thor made his way over to the stage, clomping up the steps and over to stand by Fury's desk where the Director had been ushering them towards. Handing off a mic to Thor and Loki each, he was suddenly stopped by an annoyed squeak from Loki.

"Hang on! How d'you expect me to hold this thing?!" Loki shouted, motioning with his still-bound, in front of him granted, hands. Fury waved it off with,

"Hold it with both hands, you'll be fine." Fury assured with a dismissive wave of his hand. Steve and Natasha, still seated, were sharing a look of unease. This may only be a game, but Loki was still a villain and a threat.

"Are you sure about this, Fury?" The Captain spoke up, his tone full of distrust.

"I agree, this seems unwise.." Natasha seconded.

"Aw c'mon," Tony put in as he walked a few steps back to stand in front of the two, leaning forward and oozing haughtiness as he towered over them. Because they were, y'know, still sitting. "Are ya gonna let the public down now in arguing with the Director's decision. Granted, he is usually wrong. But! This -is- just a game."

Steve stared at Tony for a drawn-out moment, his expression hard, and then leaned back and crossed his arms with a sudden, much-too-satisfied smirk. "Sure. A game -you'll- have to play with him." The super solider pointed out, far too eagerly as he nodded in Loki's direction. Tony's face fell as he scowled and then spun on his heel, rolling his eyes and muttering something (thankfully) incoherent over his shoulder as he stalked back to his original position. Natasha simply gave an amused snort.

Fury, having ignored their earlier comments, now sat down and grinned much too innocently at Tony, whom was standing up unusually straight and was still scowling. Clint was no less pleased but was presently preoccupied by glaring at Loki. Fury was planning on having some fun himself at the expense of these two - and, Hawk had been really annoying him lately, so...

"Thor, you're Tony's sound guy; Loki, you're Clint's. Whenever they," here Fury makes a point of gesturing to Clint and Tony, so that hopefully the two Asguardians would understand. "Prompt you, you two will have to provide the sound effects for the scene. The scene is, Tony going to an opening of a new Zoo. During Tony's opening speech, his bodyguard - that's you, Clint - notices someone trying to make off with several of the zoo animals. You two must put a stop to it. Go."

"Welcome, to the grand opening of the first robotic animal petting zoo!" Tony declared without missing a beat, quite loudly and with his arms raised towards the crowd. As if no one had ever see that one coming; still, the audience cheered in applause. And then Thor made a strange 'baa'-like noise into his microphone. Tony quickly dropped his arms and turned to face the Asguardian with an expression of confusion mixed with afrontment.

"What was the heck was that?!" Tony yelped, throwing his hands up again but in a, 'what?' type of gesture.

"I think a sheep exploded." Clint helpfully provided, very matter-of-factly. In the background, Loki gave off a strangled noise as he lifted his bound hands-plus-mic up to cover his face. Thor was still painfully unaware of the Midguardian animal kingdom... They did -not- have all the same type of creatures here as they did back home. Still, Tony was prepared to roll with things. Looking off in the other direction, he spoke up again.

"Ah! That must be it...I put in a fail-safe so that if the robotic animals leave these walls, they explode." Tony sighed, pocketing his hands and shaking his head. "Robo guts and pieces everywhere, what a shame...true shame."

Suddenly Clint jumped forward and clapped Tony on the shoulder, pointing towards the crowd. "Look, someone's trying to make off with a robo duckling! No worries, I'll get him with my trusty bow and arrows." Clint said, running back a step and leaning down, "Gotta get my bow first," he muttered to himself, acting as if he were quickly opening a case to get out his bow.

"Click." Loki deadpanned into the mic, providing the sound effect for opening the case.

"Makes a good clicking noise, don't it?" Clint inquired of Tony, rising his brows with a look of feigned appreciation, to which Tony mutely nodded as he too pretended to be in awe. Clint went on to flick his wrist in a motion as if he were extending out his bow.

"Swish." Loki again helpfully provided his wonderful sound effects.

"It's also more swishy than I remember." Tony observed, cocking his head as he stared at the 'bow.'

"Yeah, well, 's had a few upgrades lately." Clint said with a shrug, then stepped forward again and sighted a random someone in the crowd and said, "Hey you! Put down the duckling!" A pause. Then, "They always have to do this the hard way," Clint muttered, grabbing something from the air behind his back and then making the motions of notching an arrow.

"While you do that, I'm gonna go suit up. I doubt these guys'll be scared off that easy." Tony said, hooking his thumb to the side then walking off a step. "Good thing I brought the 'football' case." He said to himself, pretending to hold up a briefcase he then threw to the floor.

"THUD!" Thor bellowed, having been eagerly awaiting for his time of contribution. Tony grinned.

"Ah, yup, still packs a wallop even in brick-form." He then lifted a foot and stepped onto it. "Time to suit up!" Tony declared, reaching down then extending his arms out wide from his sides.

"CLINK, CLANK, CLINK, CLANK CLANK. ROBO MAN COMPLETE!" Thor proclaimed.

"Uh, I uh...added in a voice recognition to let me know when it's at one hundred percent complete-assemble without me having to look." Tony supplied with a nod. Then he took on a fighting stance as he tried to look for more peoples stealing the animals.

"I'm gonna let 'er rip!" Clint announced, making the motions or releasing his previously notched arrow.

"Swish... ...thunk. Ah, ow, ow." Loki quietly aided, even providing the less-than-steller sound effects of the villain (his or herself) getting hit.

"Yes, got 'im!" Clint grinned, raising his hands in triumph.

"Is that Loki?" Tony asked, acting as if he were trying to ascertain the identity of the now felled villain that had attempted in stealing a duckling. Loki inclined his head then narrowed his eyes as Stark. Clint dropped his left hand and shielded his eyes with his right hand.

"Huh, I do believe it is. What is he doing trying to steal a robo duckling?"

"Make an evil robo duckling army? People'd be drawn in by the cuteness, then - bam!" Tony said, pounding his fist into the palm of his other hand.

"CLANK!" Thor quickly provided, making the sound effect for the two metal gauntlets coming together. Loki was almost looking thoughtfully impressed at the idea of this cute robo duckling evil army thing...hmm.

"Oh! Look, someone's trying to make off with a rabbit! I think not!" Tony declared, raising his right hand with flattened palm up and out. "Replusors, engage!"

"...FIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. ZZZZZZZ." Thor provided, unsure what kind of noise to actually make with that one. Tony quickly whipped his hand around and looked at it with a surprised concern.

"Uh-oh, must've accidentally put in my cola-firing replusors instead of the energy-firing ones. Whoops."

"I've got this!" Clint declared as he stepped over to Tony's side, reaching back to grab another 'arrow' and then making the motions to notch it.

"Click." Loki added in.

"Oh, so it clicks now too?" Tony couldn't help but say as he dropped his hand, looking over at Clint.

"Apparently," Clint said with a shrug, sighted his opponent, then released the 'arrow.'

"Swish..." Loki developed an evil grin, this time adding, "Squeak! Squeak!"

"Oh no! You hit the rabbit!" Tony exclaimed, feigning exaggerated outrage.

"I did not-" Clint started, but was cut off.

"The rabbit! Poor rabbit." Then Tony shrugged, "I suppose a Hawk does have to eat, but I hate to remind you that this -is- a robo rabbit..."

Clint twitched a little, then shouted, "It was an evil rabbit!" Tony quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing so Clint went on. "It was the ring-leader, man! You just couldn't see its evil little grin, like I could, as it was whispering its plans of world domination to its co-conspirators."

"Uh-huh." Tony nodded once, clearly not believing a word of it. But then, the buzzer sounded.

"Finally!" Loki exclaimed, raising his head to the ceiling with a look of relief.

"Aw, the game of noises is over so soon?" Thor inquired, clearly disappointed.

"Peace out," Tony grinned, making a peace sign as he retreated to his seat. Clint was much more silent and quick about his own retreat.

"Yep, so hand 'em over." Fury stood and grabbed the handheld mics from the brothers and shooed them back to their seats. "Everybody give the Asguardians a round of applause, because the script calls for it!" Fury shouted, addressing the crowd, whom did not need any encouragement to do just that. Thor grinned broadly and waved as he returned to his seat, still dragging his brother along by his other hand. Loki did not look up from the floor as he shuffled along behind Thor, dragging out each step.

"All right, now that that's over," Fury spoke after stashing the mics once again, and was looking over his cards again. "Next game..."


	5. Improbable Mission

****Thank you guys for keeping with this story, and for all the favs/reviews! It really means a lot, so, thank you.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

"... Improbable Mission. Barton, Romanoff - you're up." Fury gruffed out, and as the two stood and approached center-stage, the Director went on. "So, not much of an imagination with this one. You two are secret agents carrying out an everyday activity, you will be given instructions for this every day activity from Tony; so Stark, the cards say you're supposed to stand up here. So hurry up." Tony blinked and muttered something under his breath as he stood up, arms folded, and headed over to stand at the side of Fury's desk. He was ignoring every one else for the moment with a bit of a scowl on his face as he stared off into nothing.

"And I'm supposed to get an idea from the audience about a mundane task." Fury turned to the crowd. "Suggestions! Go!"

Suggestions were shouted out, with Fury cupping a hand over his ear as if he couldn't hear any one of them. And then he suddenly brought his other hand up, having apparently finally heard one he liked. "A hair cut! We will go with that." He turned to Natasha and Clint, who were still standing there on-stage and looking at him. "So, secret agents. You're to give a hair cut, instructions from Stark. Go."

"I found another tape in the fridge." Clint said, approaching Natasha with one hand held up as if he were holding said tape.

"They know just where to put it." Natasha said, her voice sounding grave as her eyes settled on the 'tape,' shaking her head. Then she turned and proceeded to 'open' a player. "Let's see what they have us doing this time." Clint stepped forward and put in the 'tape,' Natasha closing it and pressing 'play.'

"Pepper," Tony whined in one of his best whiny-type voices, though it was muffled as if he were talking over his shoulder. "I am seriously in the middle of something here! I will come up and eat whatever after I finish recording this message for the super-secret super-scary spies; which, you know what? Why do they have me recording on a bloody tape, anyway? I mean, I could -easily-"

"Fast forward a bit." Clint cut in with a wave of his hand, Natasha nodded in agreement as she pressed the fast forward button on the 'player.' Tony did the obligatory fast-forward noise, then when Natasha took her finger off the button, immediately responded with,

"And do NOT tell me you just fast forwarded over my-"

"And again," Natasha muttered, holding down the 'button' again. Tony made the noise again, this time slightly squeakier, then gave a huge sigh when Nat once more took her finger off the button.

"Okay, down to business. Scary Assassins there is this dude at the Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy downtown that's in dire need of a hair cut. There is to be a meeting of big-wigs in about five hours and if he shows up looking like a hippie, there could be an international incident. You're mission, and you've no choice but to accept it, is to give that dude a much-needed hair cut." Pause. "This message will explode and leave no traces behind in..."

Natasha jammed the button and opened the player, grabbing the tape while Clint made the motions of notching an arrow on his bow. Nat opened a window and tossed the tape out it, Clint quickly took aim and 'fired' out the window.

"Boom." Tony helpfully supplied, ending his transmission, and lowered his handheld mic as he remained stationed at the side of Fury's desk. His job now finished, he crossed his arms over his chest and stood there to watch the two Scary Assassins work.

"Well, we've got our orders." Clint began, drawing Natasha's attention away from the window.

"Let's go," The redhead said as she extended a hand and right away Clint reached out and, instead of a handshake, their hands wrapped around the other's forearm, their eyes locked as they seemed to brace themselves for the up coming mission. Right as their forearms locked, Mission Impossible-type music began to play rather loudly. Neither assassin seemed all too perturbed, but in the background one could see Steve apparently idly looking up and glancing around for the source of the noise; honestly the sudden blast of strange music had startled him somewhat, but then he glanced at Tony who happened to be sliding his phone back into his pocket with a rather suspicious-looking grin, and Steve relaxed back into his chair - it was simply business as usual. Tony had no doubt activated it somehow.

"So, we need to get to the downtown Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy. And make sure some guy gets a haircut." Natasha reiterated after they'd stepped apart, to which Clint nodded.

"Piece of cake; we'll just hop on the quinjet and..." Clint spoke as he started to turn away, but was stopped by Natasha's hand on his arm.

"Wait! The quinjet's still under repair from the last mission, remember?" She said, dropping her hand as soon as Clint had stopped. Clint looked rather displeased and let out an aggravated breath of air.

"Right." Clint was silent for a second as he thought, his expression showing his concentration, then he suddenly snapped his fingers and grinned at Natasha. "The rooftops!" He exclaimed, his gleefulness at once putting Nat on guard. "We gotta get there fast as we can, right? Well there's enough buildings from here to there that we can just run from roof to roof!"

Natasha's closed expression did not reveal what she thought of this statement, but before she could respond, Clint had taken a running leap at one of the support beams of the building and was currently scaling it with impressive speed. Natasha sighed, her shoulders sagging as she took a step back, but then proceeded with a running leap of her own as she followed her partner up to the rafters. Completely ignored were the furious bellows of an increasingly irate Director Fury, as well as the boisterous laughter of a certain billionaire.

After several minutes of treating the rafters as their very own personal jungle gyms, Clint finally swung over to the catwalk and peered down at the stage below. Natasha abruptly dropped down beside him, and so they knelt side-by-side as they overlooked the 'embassy.'

"So, this is it?" Nat asked quietly, and somehow her voice was still being picked up by the mics. Either they were wearing well-concealed mics or it was something Tony had done, maybe a bit a both.

"Yep, the Walla Walla Bing-Bang embassy. And, we've made it without taking any damage." Clint responded just as quietly, turning briefly to grin at Natasha.

"Got to be some sort of record for you." Nat counters, smiling innocently when Clint's grin turns to more of a grimace with an added glare. Then he scoffed and move on.

"So which one is it?" Clint asked, looking over the 'embassy grounds.' Natasha too pretends to peer closely at the 'people,' then lifts her hand and points.

"There, that one. Got to be. He looks like Thor, but without the muscles."

"Or the face." Clint felt the need to add, then paused. "Or the height - well, okay maybe a little of the height." He went on with a tone of consideration, ending in a shrug. Natasha stared at him with an eyebrow raised, then shook her head and returned forward.

"Whatever, let's just get this guy."

Clint nodded his agreement as he stood up, then produced an actual rope from somewhere and tied one end of it to the catwalk. It was a little to high for just a simple jump, so...he threw the other end over the railing and quickly descended down the rope. Natasha rolled her eyes and followed, landing just in time to see Clint pretend to tap someone on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, sir? Hi. Yeah, my associate and I have something we'd like to talk to you about..." Clint spoke as he threw an arm around the invisible person, starting to walk away, when he suddenly turned and punched in the area a man's head would've naturally been, effectively knocking the invisible man out. This got a start out of Natasha, and in response to her surprised and displeased look, Clint said,

"What? This dude works at an embassy and is in dire need of a hair cut - you really think he's gonna go _willingly_?" Romanoff seems to consider this, as her head slowly bobs from side to side, then she shrugs and nods in agreement,

"Good point." She concedes as Clint picks the guy up and throws him over his shoulder. Then she looked around and said, "We'll need to get him into a secure room. Come on." They pretended to run around the 'embassy' for a moment or two before Natasha pretended to open a door, allowing Clint through before she closed and locked it. "Sit him down over there." She instructed, nodding to some point on the floor.

"A supply closet? Really, Nat?" Clint peered up at her with raised eyebrows, hinting at something more as he set the invisible man down. Nat's glare only hardened as she shrugged one shoulder, shifting her weight to lean slightly to the right.

"Gotta work with what we got." She said simply, then let her body relax as she asked, "Now, did you bring the scissors?"

"Scissors? I thought you had 'em last?" Nat frowned, shaking her head.

"No, I gave them to you."

"Well, pretty sure I didn't bring them - but hey!" Clint suddenly brightened as he thought of something. "I can give his hair a trim with one of my arrows!" He declared, and proceeded to brandish an invisible arrow. Nat stood completely still and stared at him for a full three seconds. Then she calmly walked forward and nodded.

"If this backfires, I am blaming you." Nat said as she knelt in front of him. "I'll hold him down just in case, you go ahead."

Clint grinned joyously as he went ahead slicing off the dude's hair with the tip of the arrow.

"I don't think either of us are carrying any wigs for the not entirely unlikely event in which you botch this up, so please, be careful." Natasha muttered, pretending to be keeping the guys arms secured while Clint continued slicing at his hair.

"Almost done," Clint said, made a few more motions, then leaned back with a flourish. "There! Master piece!"

Natasha leaned back herself, tilted her head from side to side, then nodded. "Not too bad, Barton, gotta say. Expected much worse." She said, smiling innocently at the archer. And then, the buzzer sounded. Clint stood up and brushed his hands off.

"So, that was probably one of the weirdest missions I've ever been sent on." Clint muttered aloud as he headed back to his seat. Beside him, Natasha snorted.

"Really?" Nat asked innocently, turning to glance at Barton. "Not me." She said. Clint turned to stare at her with a raised eyebrow, clearly an unasked question there, but before either could speak anymore, Fury cut in.

"Okay! Game is over, you two. That means quiet. And Barton, if you ever do that again..." Fury let the threat hang in the air, using his eye to glare as powerfully as possible at the archer. He was, of course, talking about the rafters incident.

"Hey, it was fun." Clint responded with a small smile, showing absolutely no remorse. Fury muttered under his breath as he turned back to the cards sitting on the desk before him.

"A thousand points each, I guess. Now, next game..."

* * *

So, that was it. Like it, hate it, wanna see something else? Please let me know. Bruce's chapter is still coming up - there may even be a possibility that Thor will be seen again, too! That said, it may be two weeks or so before I can get this updated again. If I take any longer feel free to gently poke me by means of PM or whatnot, 'cause I may need it.

...And because there are always stories fluttering through my mind, I am considering trying to actually write out a story idea I've had for a little while now, an angsty-type fic centered around Steve. Please let me know what you guys think.

Thanks so much for reading! Ta for now!


	6. Living Scenery

Thank you so very much to all the lovely peoples that have reviewed/favorited/followed this story! Love you guys! 8D

Sorry it's been a bit of a wait. I hope this chapter is worth it! Eeks! .. -hangs head-

As always, many thanks to the lovely Arrows The Wolf for betaing!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

"...is Living Scenery. Rogers and Romanoff for this game, with two members from the audience." Fury stands, roving mic once more in hand, and starts moving towards the rows of people. He passes by the front row where he knew the Asguardians to be sitting, seeing as how he'd already included Thor in a game - he was actually kinda looking for Bruce now - but wait. Pausing, Fury turned back to see if his eye had been correct; the Asguardians had multiplied, plus one!

Thor was still seated at the isle seat, grinning like a loon, Loki bound next to him. To Loki's other side, however, there were three young-looking men in Asguardian attire; one with a red bushy beard, another with kinda sticky-up dark hair, and the third was a somewhat more well-groomed blonde.

"Who the heck are these guys?" Fury inquired of Thor, but the other blonde quickly spoke up.

"We are the Warriors Three! I am-"

"Hush! I didn't ask you!" Fury cut him off, glaring, before again looking to Thor with an eyebrow raised.

"They are some of my dear companions from Asguard, called the Warriors Three, for they fight together. I brought them here to partake of these joyous Midguardian games! "

"That's nice," Fury began to say, losing interest, when someone down the row caught his eye. Aha, exactly who he'd been looking for! "You!" Fury bellowed, pointing at the figure, the person of whom visibly jumped. "And you," Fury went on, pointing now to Thor. "because I need two. Get a move on."

Bruce sighed, talking quietly to the brunette woman next to him, she smiling warmly and patting his hand, before he reluctantly stood and started to make his way towards the stage. Thor, encouraged on by his companions, passed care of Loki on to them and joyously made the journey, though short, back up onto the stage once again. They were greeted by their teammates, mainly Steve and Natasha, seeing as how they were also standing center-stage by this point, as well. Fury was now back, seated at his desk.

"Right, game is called Living Scenery. You two," pointing to Rogers and Romanoff, "Have to act out a scene using a number of props; however, seein' as how I can't be bothered t'spring for any props, you'll have to use those two," he now pointed to Thor and Bruce, "as the props. The scene is: You're newly weds honeymooning on a tropical island when some natives come and try to kidnap the new Mrs - that's you, Natasha - and offer her up to the angry volcano. Go."

"Look!" Steve suddenly spoke up after a beat of silence, pointing to Thor, and, in a deadpan tone followed up with, "A coconut tree."

"...And a banana tree." Natasha quickly joined in, smirking a bit smartly towards Bruce. She folded her arms, looking over Bruce for a moment before turning to glance at Thor. "Neither of them are terribly tall for trees, are they?" Natasha inquired as the two living props attempted to stretch their arms out over their heads at strange angles, trying to replicate a tree of some sort.

"Oh, well there - now they're a little taller." Steve amended upon seeing their attempts, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling at Tasha. She blinked, slowly nodded, then sniffed and moved off to the side a few steps. She lifted her head and breathed deeply, her hands now at her sides. A small smile graced her lips.

"What a beautiful beach scene it is here - don't you hear the ocean waves crashing? Or the seagulls?" Natasha asked, smiling much too innocently at Steve, then turning to raise her brow towards the two living props.

Bruce hesitated a moment, glancing at Thor from the corner of his eye, then went on to make wind-like noises. He stood to Tasha's side and waved his hands to and fro, attempting to imitate the tides rolling in and out. It still sounded more like a tornado imitation rather than crashing waves, but...

"Caw!"

...It was still slightly better than Thor's seagull imitation.

"Cah! Caugh!" The large blonde was putting his hands round his mouth and making any bird-like noises he thought might suit. "Caaaw!"

"Is that a black bird?" Steve questioned, looking rather confused, head tilted to the side.

"I do believe it is." Natasha agreed, using one hand to shield her eyes as she looked off to the horizon. "And it's coming this way!" Without missing a beat, Thor stepped forward, arms out and flapping as if he _were_ a bird.

"Wow, it's huge!" Steve commented, then squinted at Thor and said, "Hey, it looks like its carrying a message!" Thor pretended to land in front of them by doing a little hop, then reached into his pocket and pretended to pull out a note and handed it off to Steve.

Steve then proceeded to pretend at unrolling the message and said, "'You are about to be attacked by natives seeking to appease a volcano.'" He blinked, furrowed his brow, then looked from Thor to Natasha and said, "What kind of a message is this?" Thor simply shrugged, while Natasha looked very concerned over something.

"An accurate one I fear - I can hear footsteps coming this way!"

Again sharing a side-glance, Thor and Bruce started to stomp their feet.

"It was nice of them to warn us, I guess." Steve quietly observed, pretending to look down a path to try and spot the natives.

"How're we gonna call this one, Captain?" Natasha asked, also looking down the 'path.' "They're almost here." Steve looked to her, then slowly looked about the stage, then seemed to come to an idea.

"The jetpacks!" He rushed over to Thor, then stopped and turned to Nat. "You packed yours too, didn't you?"

"Of course," Natasha said with a smile, slowly ambling over to Bruce. "Never leave home without it."

"Good. Now, let's hurry and get out of here." Steve said, a concentrated frown upon his face as he 'buckled' himself onto the jetpack by having Thor's arms encircle his torso. Thor was trying not to laugh, very focused on doing his part properly and as well as was possible. Bruce wasn't fairing quite as well, his face a beat red and Natasha had to try twice to get herself 'buckled' in with Bruce's arms around her.

"Three, two, one - blastoff!" Steve quickly counted down, then blanched and let out an indignified squeak-sort of noise as Thor actually bodily lifted Steve up off the ground. Thor walked across the platform, holding fast as Steve squirmed and kicked against his grip, and finally set him down on the other side. As soon as his feet touched down, Steve not-so-subtly stepped away from Thor. Bruce and Natasha, on the other hand had, much more sedately, simply walked across the platform.

But then, on the last step, Bruce tripped. And fell right off the platform.

Natasha had, of course, been able to disentagle herself from him before he'd even started to trip; however, another problem was very quickly becoming quite evident...

"Oh dear, we seem to have landed closer to the volcano." Natasha steadily observed, watching Bruce. He had apparently hurt himself in some way, as, well...he was starting to transform. The Hulk's bellow suddenly reverbeated throughout the set.

"Yep, that's quite a roar." Steve said, as Natasha began taking a few steps back.

The scene sort of developed into choas after that, what with the Hulk jumping 'round and the audeince being fearful for their lives and all...

"Thor!" Fury bellowed above it all, "Take Hulk outside, and see if you can get him to calm down!" Thor nodded; and somehow, this actually proved to be accomplished with minimal damage. A few railings would have to be replaced, and several audeince members would have to re-find their seats, but all in all it really wasn't bad.

"And, that's one way to end to that game." Fury mumbled, shuffling the papers on his desk to see what was up next.

"I told Bruce, he should always make sure his laces are tied..." Tony commented, sagely shaking his head as Steve and Natasha went back to their seats.

"Enough with that," Fury commanded attention from all four of them, then when he had it, went on. "Next game is..."

* * *

At first I wasn't gonna be puttin' the Hulk in yet...and he really didn't get much airtime at all, but...Sorry! Could not help myself. xD He just kinda, naturally wrote himself into that, there. I hope you guys enjoyed! I am sorry it's been such a wait. Hopefully will not be quite so long before the next update!


	7. Scenes From A Helmet

Thank you everyone who fav/reviewed! Also, a specially big thank you to MoreThanMeetsTheEye96, who's really helped me a bunch with ideas for this chapter and also for her awesomely lovely reviews!

Beta'd by the lovely Arrows the Wolf. ;)

Disclaimer: In case you had not already guessed...I still do not own a thing. And I mean NOTHING. The song lyrics you will find later in this are not mine! I've just enjoyed listening to 'em.

* * *

"Okay people, we've only got a few more games to slug through. So no more cuttin' up," Fury said, pointing accusingly at the four onstage, "Or I will have to shoot every-er," He suddenly cuts himself off, forcibly inhaling and exhaling a few times as he stacked the papers on his desk, "Or we will be forced to start the blasted thing over again. Do you want that, do you?! No? Then let's get on! Next game is called Scenes from a Hat!"

For some reason, the crowd suddenly erupted into cheers. Fury waited, glowering and growling towards the crowd, until silence once more descended.

"Good. Now, this is for all four of you," As he spoke, the four stood and went to take up their positions, Clint and Natasha on one side of the stage and Steve and Tony on the other. "The cards tell me that we've had members of the audience write down suggestions for scenes they'd like our Avengers to act out, and the best have been chosen and placed in that helmet." Fury explained, nodding at Pepper as she walked onstage carrying an old Iron Man helmet which she then handed off to Fury.

"Hey!" Tony was immediately indignant at this use of his property.

"Don't worry, Tony, I made sure it was one of the older models." Pepper smiled much too innocently, winked, then disappeared into the crowd once more. Tony huffed and crossed his arms but said nothing.

"Now," Fury began again with a grin, his hand reaching into the helmet. "we'll see how many these saps can think of, starting with..." He took out a piece of paper and unfolded it, reading it aloud. "Things NOT to do during a debriefing. Go!"

Clint was the first one to step down and take center stage, pulling a piece of crumbled paper from his pocket as he did so. He had one hand poised at his lips as if he were holding a straw, makes the sound one makes when readying saliva, brought the paper upwards towards the hand at his lips, then chucked it across the stage and, lowering his hands, watched it sail with a grin. "Bullseye!" He declared, then frowned with a murmured 'uh-oh,' and quickly retreated back to his spot.

Glancing down at the wadded up, crumbled piece of paper, Tony suddenly got an idea. Nudging Steve, he nodded to the paper with a mischievous grin. Steve rose a brow as he glanced at it, but subtly nodded; receiving the cue he needed, Tony stepped down and grabbed the paper, quickly turning to face Steve who had also stepped down. Steve who had his hands positioned like a goal. Tony took aim and flicked it across. It flew right between Cap's fingers. Tony pumped his fists into the air, yelling, "Score! Take that - five to three!" Steve smirked and rolled his eyes a little as they both stepped back off to the side again. Though, Steve right away stepped back down again. With a pointed glance aimed in Tony's direction.

He turned a little and held out his hand, looking down at it as if he were working a cellphone. And continued for several seconds, until he could hear Tony's not-so-quiet huff, Clint's poorly concealed amusement-filled crackling, and then, well, the buzzer sounded anyway.

"What a fine display that was; next scene is... What Natasha whispered to Clint as Thor and Loki, uh, 'left the building.'"

Natasha was the first to step down this time, faced the crowd, and said, "KFC's got this great deal going on their bucket of chicken meal, and guess what? There's one on the way back to base." then she calmly stepped off-stage once more.

Clint, with a wicked grin, stepped down and, turning to the audience, whispered rather loudly, and somewhat slowly, "Two plus two is four," then took a big step back to his original position, though a side step or two away from 'Tasha, whom was presently glaring at him. He merely grinned in response.

Before anyone else could move, Fury was reaching into the helmet again. "Okay, so now... 'Other uses for the Iron Man suit.' Ha!"

Steve grabbed Tony's elbow and stepped down, dragging Tony with him. He sort of turned to half-face Tony, then had on a small smile as he said, "...Told you those mosquitoes wouldn't bother us." And then quickly retreated to his position, leaving Tony behind. Tony let out a small bark of laughter, having apparently not been expecting that, then quickly retorted with,

"Hey, I kinda knew that already!" Before stepping back up beside Steve again.

Natasha, still staring straight ahead, grabbed Clint's hand and stepped down, dragging him down. She half-turned and made the motions of collecting something. She turned to Clint and said, "Told you those bees wouldn't bother us." Clint nodded as he too went about 'collecting honey combs.' Then they both stepped back up.

Tony now stepped down, holding his hands up and as if he were holding something, turned to the audience and said, "Honey! I got an indestructible pi ata for the kids this year!" Tony grinned, then stepped back up.

Fury fished for another piece of paper and came up with, "Alternate endings to the battle in New York."

Tony stepped down first, faced the audience, bent his knees a little and pretended to be holding something on his back...like, say, a nuclear missile. All of a sudden his eyes widen and he says, "Oops, missed the portal...whelp, New York is doomed." He cleared his throat, dropped his arms, and stepped off to the side again.

Clint stepped down and faced the audience, a very concentrated look on his face as he brought his hands up. He made the motions of prepping his bow, notching and aiming it, then fired. A quick grin jumped to his lips, and he called out, "Ha! Try seein' with that eye now, Mr. Try To Take Over The World!" Clint threw back his head, grinning directly at Loki, before turning to step up again.

Fury grabbed another piece of paper and quickly read off, "'Theme songs for each Avengers teammate.' This should be good."

Clint rose an eyebrow, grinned and stepped down before anyone else could react. He started belting out I Am Iron Man by Black Sabbath, naturally. Not too hard to tell which Avenger this theme would be for.  
"I am Iron Man! Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all Or if he moves will he fall?"

Before he could go any further, Fury sounded the buzzer, as pretty much everyone had gotten the point, and Clint retreated. Tony was smirking a little too much, a rather scary sign, as he stepped down to take certain stage. He was silent for all of a second, until he brought his hands up, fingers together, and in a sing-song voice...

"The Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the water spout..." He'd even made motions with his hands to go along with the song. Fury was quite quick to sound the buzzer, which was a good thing as said 'Spider' was glaring murder at Tony. Tony grinned cheekily, chuckled nervously, and as he retook his position, considered perhaps sleeping with one eye open tonight...but, it'd been so worth it.

Natasha tossed her head, smiling innocently as she stepped down. She stood with her profile to the audience, her smile turning somewhat apologetic as she glanced at Steve, then she put her hands on her hips and turned her head to face the audience, her voice low as she sang,

"We're men, we're men in tights.  
We roam around the forest looking for fights.  
We're men, we're men in tights.  
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!  
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!  
We're men, we're men in tights,  
Always on guard defending the people's rights."

Fury'd had a moment of snickering before finally finding the buzzer to push it, making Natasha step back up again. She'd even been doing the moves to go along with the song, the dance routine from the movie. Steve stood there, arms crossed, looking none-too-amused. If there was a little upward quirk to his lips, well, that was just your imagination. They'd seen that movie together a few nights ago, and as the title of it was Robin Hood: Men In Tights, well that theme may just have been aimed at more than one Avenger...

"Okay," Fury grumbled as he unfolded the last sheet of paper he'd pulled from the Iron Man helmet. "Last scene is... Uh-oh." Fury sighed, glaring up at his team. "What Fury was thinking when he first assembled the Avengers." He pointed his index finger at them and rose his brow, daring them to misbehave.

Clint was the first one to step down, pretended to be searching through some papers, documents perhaps. Then he snapped his fingers and with a tone of disappointment, said, "Dang, Ant Man's busy!" Fury snorted and briefly sounded the buzzer; Clint retook his position.

Natasha stepped down, her appearance very stoic as she turned to face the audience. Suddenly, she grinned widely, pulling a fist towards her person as she shouted, "Yes!" And then, face going blank once more, stepped back up just as quickly.

Steve was the next one to step down. He took a deep breath, facing the audience, releasing it as he said, "The world," He paused and shook his head sadly, "is -so- doomed." He let that hang in the air a moment before he retreated.

As Steve retook his position, Tony stepped down to take center stage. He turned to face the audience, smiled and opened his arms wide as he said, "World's. Greatest. Super. Hero. Team. EVER!" He shouted, and the crowd roared with applause. Because of course, this sort of thing was what he lived for.

After an extensive bout of empty threats aimed towards the audience, Fury finally got them to calm down, and afterward shooed the four on-stage Avengers back to their designated seats. Fury then settled back in his chair, looking through the cards as he said, "Fine, fifteen hundred points a piece. Mostly 'cause I forgot the last couple'a games, I think. Finally, moving on to the next game..."


	8. Weird Newscasters

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Only one or two more games to go before this will be over... Sadness. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it!

Edited by Arrows the Wolf!

* * *

"Moving onto the next game - Weird Newscasters. This is for all four of you knuckleheads." Fury declared from his seat behind the desk, squinting as he read off the cue card. As he was doing so, the four Avengers stood and made their way down to center-stage. Natasha and Tony had each picked up a stool and set them side-by-side dead center of the stage; Steve standing off to the side and behind Natasha, Clint a bit further down and to the side of Tony. The positioning all went strangely smooth, almost like they'd rehearsed this before or something...ah, oh well. Fury was speaking again.

"Natasha, you're the anchor of a local news show." The redhead nodded, her expression blank as she settled herself on the stool. "Tony," Fury went on, "is Natasha's co-anchor, and Tony you're a crazy cat lady who thinks people are stealing her cats." At the sound of his name, Tony had snapped to attention, though his attention appeared to be on the ceiling. At hearing his personality, however, he slowly turned his head towards Fury and raised an eyebrow quite high.

"All right, okay." Tony muttered under his breath after a moment, rubbing his face as he too settled onto his stool.

"Steve," Fury again went on, "you're on sports, and everything around you seems to spontainiously burst into flame." Steve stared blankly at Fury for a few seconds, then slowly began to nod, turning to the side slightly. "Clint," Fury continued, "you've got weather and you are Robin Hood seeking to recruit merry men for your troup." Clint had stuffed his hands in his pockets, inclining his head slightly as Fury addressed him. Then, he blew out a breath of air and did a sort of half-turn, shuffling his feet as he stared at the floor and muttered to himself, something about 'Robin Hood' and 'real arrows, sheesh.'

"When you hear the music, Natasha, take it." Fury finally concluded, leaning back in his seat with a triumphant sigh. As soon as Fury had finished speaking, intro news music started playing. Right as it was finishing up, Natasha, staring down the camera closest to her, began to speak.

"Good evening," She started, her voice low and serious. Tony sat next to her, smiling and petting an invisible cat. There was a beat of silence before she continued. "My name is Betty Boop and this is my associate, Rainbow Dash."

"And this is Tiddels. Say 'hi' Tiddels!" Tony chipped in, using a high-pitched old lady voice as he held up the invisible cat and pretended to have it wave a paw.

"Right." Natasha stared at Tony, narrowing her eyes at him a moment before turning forward again, tossing her head a little as she continued. "Our top news story tonight is that the city seems to have been overrun with giant cats, who appear to be chasing bugs and yarn balls, along with the occasional mutant mouse. I wonder if our super hero team will be able to come and assist, what are your thoughts, Rainbow?"

"I think someone left the door open again! Naughty kitty you. Wait, what's that?" Tony glared at, then pretended to lift the invisible cat to his ear, as if it were telling him something. "Patches left the oven on?!" His eyes grew quite large, but before he could go on any further with this, Natasha cut in.

"..Okay, so, that was interesting. Let's go over to sports, with Johnny Tumbleweed. Johnny?"

"Right, so that was a thrilling game last night, eh guys? Both teams were really on fire-" Steve began, and had turned to face away from the crowd, acting as if he were pointing to a TV. "And the - Whoa!" He began to point to the 'screen,' when he suddenly exclaims and jumps back a little. "Uh, well that was not supposed to happen...could we get a fire extinguisher over here?!" He asked, turning to glance over the crowd.

"Fluffy! Where oh where have you gone-?! You!" Tony suddenly yells out, leaping up from his stool to face Steve, pointing a finger accusingly at the blond. "Hand Fluffy over! I know you took her!" Tony declared, inclining his head slightly. The Captain, hands up with palms out in a 'calm down' type motion, was about to speak when Tony cut him off with a gasp and a shout. "SHE'S ON FIRE!" Tony yelled, then covered his mouth with both hands, his expression one of mixed horror and shock. Steve took a step back while Tony jumped forward, continuing to exclaim with rather a lot of excitement and hand waving, "Put Fluffy out, put Fluffy out!" Tony reached out and pretended to grab something from the air, brought his hands to his chest and patted the invisible creature off, then glared at Steve.

"There, there Fluffy, the mean ol' man won't be catching you on fire anymore.." Tony then lifted his head, sniffed and returned to his stool.

"...All righty then. This just in, fire retardant suits - not just for humans? On to weather with our special guest, Robin Hood. Mr. Hood, what's the weather gonna be like?"

"The weather is going to be bright and sunny, Betty. Great weather for sign-ups. Speaking of which, a brief word from out sponsors, Robin of Loxley and his Men in Tights." Clint paused to clear his throat, then stood profile to the audience and waved his hands as if motioning to a board or TV screen behind him.

"Are you merry? Are you a man? Well I have quite a deal for you-" here he pointed at the audience, "Tonight only we are accepting applications for our Merry Men. So if you are skilled in archery, knife throwing, hand-to-hand combat, stealth attacks or cooking, please come on down and fill out an application!" Then Clint turned and pointed his other hand towards the crowd, his expression suddenly stern. "And if you are a bad guy, no matter where you are, your weather within the next few weeks will be arrows of justice raining down upon you!" Clint jerked his head up with a grin, "So you'd better watch out! Back to you, Ms. Boop." Clint concluded, taking a small step back.

"Excellent. Well, unless my co-anchor has anything to add, I believe that is it for the night.." Natasha began to say, when Tony spoke up.

"Whiskers AND Milo have disappeared...I blame you and arrow boy." Tony claimed, pretending to be petting a cat as he glared at Natasha, then Clint.

"Yes, well. That's all then, good night and we won't be seeing you in the morning." Natasha said with a smile, and then the end of the news music started to play. Steve and Clint turned to head back to their seats, whereas Tony and Natasha stood and returned the stools to the side of the stage before heading back to their seats. Even a moment after they'd all taken their seats, silence still reigned in the studio. So all four turned to look at the Director, only to find that he had fallen asleep. Scowling, Tony shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, extremely loudly. It seemed to have no effect. So, Clint looked down and happened to spy the little wadded up piece of paper they'd been using in the earlier Scenes, and made a quick decision...

Standing, Clint stepped down, knelt and grabbed the little ball of paper, took quick aim and chucked it at the Director. It landed squarely on his nose, bounced off and nestled itself upon his stomach. Until he gave an undignified yelp and jumped to his feet.

"What-oh." Fury stood there, observing the four Avengers sitting in the chairs.

"The game is over, Director. What now?" Steve asked, opening his hands to express the 'what now' part. Fury huffed, straightened his clothing, then retook his seat.

"Uhm, five hundred each...since I, er, was otherwise occupied... Sorry, we still have at least one more game to go, team. But we're almost there. Next is..."


End file.
